21 Things I Want To Do When I'm 21

I look around me and everyone my age (or hell, younger) seem to have found their "thing". Something that they excel at or something they love, whether in their careers or personal life. They have planted the roots (the irony, am I right?) to their future, and I have yet to. It isn't exactly that simple as health prohibits me from getting out much or studying right now, it seems to be the boss of my world. I do get that, I accept that. But it's hard not to forget at times and throw a little pity party. I feel stuck in life at a young age and I don't fully know how to go about changing that with my limited capability. My life should be in my hands and yet I feel like I have no control. Someone professional that I recently spoke to suggested that I put myself out there and (re)discover things that make me happy or lead me onto the road that will aid in future happiness. So to pull myself out of this little slump and do my homework, I'm going back to the age old classic.. a list. Ground breaking. I do New Year resolutions every year, but I'm more prone to sticking to random ones that carry less pressure. Today, I turn 21. So here is a list of 21 things I want to either start doing or do more often to find happiness.

(1) Find More Doable Volunteer Opportunities

I tend to volunteer when special events are happening - which I love as it suits me perfectly - but I'd really like to branch out a bit and find new ways to volunteer that won't kick my health with a sledgehammer. I semi suck when it comes to looking into these things as I'm painfully shy and despise phone calls, which can shockingly be necessary sometimes. It's stupid, but an Anne thing. Alas, I've been looking and will continue to do so. I get back from California in September, so I have quite a bit of time between now and then to come up with at least a few ideas. 

(2) Enjoy Graphic Design More

I'm not professional in this field, nor am I by any means talented in it. It's a hobby and something anyone with photoshop could probably pick up. But I love it. It's an escape for me and I want to do more. I want to make the time to get better and to create little things that maybe someone will enjoy looking at. I have a few blog templates and graphics in my USB stick that exist only for the joy I had from making them. I don't know how to go about doing work for other people yet, but I'll figure it out. Right now, all I know is that I love it and that's all that matters.

(3) Take A Few Online Courses

As stated in the first paragraph of this post, health prohibits me from enrolling in an actual college. At least for now. But that shouldn't stop me from taking a few online courses and making an effort to find what I'm passionate about. Even if it's a certificate based course, it'll do good for me. I have the money put aside, I just need to decide on one and not double-guess myself. Ha! Good luck with that, future me.  

(4) Find A Skincare Routine

I'm blessed with semi clear skin (thank you, genetics), but I'm not an idiot and know that with age ought to come a sensible skincare routine that is more than a cleanse, scrub and moisturiser. 

(5) Embrace Drawing For Fun

Again, not very good but I gain enjoyment in doing it. I know of many who read to escape their worries but more often than not, that doesn't work for me. My thoughts are louder than the words I'm reading. Drawing however, takes my full attention. I like that.

(6) Be More Social On Social Media (the irony, right?)

I suck at interacting with those who don't shoot me a message first. It's an awful habit and I hate to be a cliché and say "I just worry about bothering them!" but it's true. A few years ago I was heavily into online roleplay, writing out a story and watching the characters literally come to life was incredible and took me away from the real world. But with roleplay, you have to add strangers and ask if they want to write. It was a terrifying concept to me. So on my laptop I had a post-it that had "Would you be annoyed if they messaged you?" written on it. Ah, good old psychology. I now just need to burn that line into my mind and take risks by striking up conversations with those around me (in a virtual way).

(7) Bake More Yummy Things 

Note to Anne: Baking is for life, not just for Christmas.

(8) Find Hobbies

This is kinda a sad one, I know. But I'm embracing it. I don't have hobbies, not really. I like to read, do graphics, and draw. But I wouldn't really class them as hobbies. Reading is a way of life, not a temporary thing you do. Graphics is partly for online "work". And drawing is a mental health exercise. I want to learn to knit, or play the uke, or make cocktails. I don't know. Something fun that I'll do for no other reason than to enjoy myself. 

(9) Complete NaNoWriMo, Again

I joined my partner in partaking in Nano for 2 years on the trot. We nailed the first year and it was the funnest November I've had in years. However last year it didn't go so well  as he had too much on his plate and couldn't find the time, so I let my own word count fail due to the entire reasoning of "I don't want to do it alone." Pathetic, right? This year, whether I do it with someone or by my lonesome, I'm gonna win and be darn proud of it. Here's to all-nighters and drinking a lifetimes worth supply of coffee in 31 days!

(10) Blog More, Freely

I have a need to make everything I write exactly how I imagined it, which can be daunting and often impossible. I raise my expectations too high for my own sanity and it regularly ends with a bunch of posts gathering dust in my "unpublished" folder. I need to be more blahzay. This is my blog and I need to follow my own advice and write for myself, not for some poor random chap who got lost online and ended up reading my rambles.

(11) Publish the unpublished 
To go alongside the goal above, I want to finish off those many posts in my 'unpublished' folder and stop double guessing myself. I started them for a reason.. right?

(12) Go To Scotland, Gilmore Girls Style

Me and my mum are planning our first ever vacation to the glorious ghostly place that is Edinburgh. I went there early last year (check out my experience HERE) with my boyfriend, but this time will be entirely different because it's just us girls. We've always spoken about travelling together but life has moved too quickly for us to manage that - isn't that always the way? So this is our chance to redeem our dream (I'm such a poet) and set off into the world by ourselves. Wow, Anne, way to be dramatic. Okay, we're literally going for one or two nights, but you knew what I meant! I'm looking forward to the experience. 

(13) Explore Veganism

Explore a vegan diet a bit more. I've done mini experiments before and my body really did thank me for it. An I already refuse to buy leather/fur or anything of that nature. I'm researching into the cruelty free category. I'm just worried about crossing over into the "obsessive" category, but I'll figure it out. Just need the right support system and mentality. Easy peasy.... right?

(14) Personal Style
I'm that girl that owns a million (okay, like 15) "out there" pieces of clothing, yet only really wears the same outfits on rotation because I'm too afraid that people will judge me or think I'm stupid for dressing up. I long to wear tulle skirts, petticoats and bows on my head. So, why don't I? Even if it's just a cardigan with too much frill or matching my coat to my shoes, I want to express myself more through fashion.

(15) Save/Invest In A Decent Camera

Right now, I use my Samsung phone to capture the moments I want to remember and the quality is really great... on screen. Sadly when it comes to viewing them on a laptop and/or printing them out, the quality goes to meh which saddens me. So, yup, I want to at least get a roll going, even if it's a few pounds a week. 

(16) Take More Personal Photos 

Whether with a fancy smancy new camera or just my phone, I want to take more photos that I'd actually want to print and frame. Flat-lays are great and all, but I very much doubt I'll remember that specific shot in 5 years time. 

(17) ... And Print Those Photos

And again, to go with the two above, I want to print out the many, many, many, many, many photos out that I have on my laptop. I tend to  be quite good when it comes to printing out personal favourites, but those other 4,729 photos in my "My Cat" folder are special too! Okay, I may have to narrow those down a little.

(18) Say "No" More
That's probably the opposite of what most people put on their "to do more" list, but I've always been a bit backwards. On the app Habitica (blog post will be up soon about it, promise), I have a habit that is "Say No To Something You Don't Want To Do". And you know, I've ticked it a fair amount but 9/10 times, the thing I said no to still happened. It's like some people ask for your opinion but still just go forward with what they originally wanted to do. I may as well as not of answered, and that bugs me.

(19) Experiment With My Hair

Silly one, I know. But I'm the kind of girl who gets easily stuck in habits, Both good and bad. And I'm semi bland. So when the prospect of changing my do comes up, I back away fearful just in case something goes wrong. That is no way to live. So I here by pledge to chop my hair off if I wanna. Or hell, dye it blonde with vibrant green streaks (That's very unlikely to happen, but ya never know). Life is too short, so make the hair shorter.

(20) Share More Of What I Love

Sharing things, no matter how little, has always been a terrifying thing to me. Partly because I tend to get shot down when telling someone about something that I like as people only tend to look for the negative in it.

"I actually really like this song. The lyrics are beautiful."

"His voice is horrible though." *cue making fun of it*

-

"She inspires me."

"Her new show completely flopped, you know? Must be desperate for work."

-

"This is one of my favourite books."

"Nice. I heard it's not that good."

It's exhausting and does put me off, as I end up leaving the conversation feeling stupid. But it isn't a good thing to close people off from the things that you hold dear in your heart, as how will anyone get to know the real you if that's the case?

(21) Make An Effort To Find Myself

Cliche, but true, I don't know who I am. At all. I know I'm a young girl with a bit of shoddy luck but a positive attitude when it comes to said luck. I know I'm engaged to a great man. I know I'm depended on by a good handful of people and that terrifies me. I know.. Well, I know I'm mostly defined by those who love me. And that scares me. I need to find out who I am (me-to-me) before I can build my life around others, because that's just not healthy. And I'm terrified at the prospect of this final "habit" changing aspects of my life.

- Anne x