A twisted modern classic wherein a grown man falls hopelessly in love with twelve-year-old Lolita, and makes it his life's mission to make her his in every way possible. This isn't a love story, but it is a book about obsessive love. I read My Dark Vanessa last month and devoured it, I found the off-balanced relationship between the protagonist and her professor captivating for all the wrong reasons. I couldn't stop reading. In that book, they make a lot of references to Lolita so I wanted something along the same theme after I finished, and so naturally I picked up Lolita. It's weird to say I enjoyed the first half of this book, I know, but I did. It was sickening but so utterly brilliantly written that I couldn't help but have a fondness for the story. But, and this is a big but, the second half destroyed any shred of my enjoyment. It got so slow and ridiculous, the story took some even more questionable turns and all the characters become insufferable. Keeping that in mind, I really don't know what my rating for this book would be. It felt like two completely different books, one being almost poetic and the other being written just for the ""shock value". I just... meh, I'm so meh about this book. 

When a white activist demands that no person of colour touches his new born baby, it sets off a chain of events that leads to the baby's death. Putting all their blame on the black nurse that they first came into contact with, the grieving parents take legal action. Ruth, the nurse, is put on the stand for neglect of an infant. In the style of Miracle Creek by Angie Kim, this is a contemporary mixed with a court-drama. Unlike Miracle Creek, it took me a while to work out my feelings toward this book. I wasn't sure how I felt about a white author writing from the POV of a black woman, and writing about the prejudices that come with not being white. I wish, really wish, that the author's note was at the beginning of this novel and not the end as her reasoning behind the entire book made it less problematic to me. However, that aside, the story itself is a powerful look at race and how racism isn't intentional a lot of the time. As a protagonist Ruth was a strong willed woman with a wonderfully written family. The character could at times fall into cliche territory, but all-in-all this was a well-done novel. I knocked off a star for the cheesy and too perfect ending, but I would still recommend this to anyone who enjoyed Miracle Creek.

Have you ever wanted a novel that has the writing style of The Night Circus but the plot of A Little Life with the magicalness of a Seanne McGuire book but written by Donna Tartt? Then this is the book for you! This is a tragic story set around two children, Rose and Pierrot, who are abandoned at an orphanage in 1914. There, they both experience abuse - sexual and physical - and eventually leave to forge their own paths, yet they're always hoping they'll find each-other again. This novel has an undertone of magical realism as both the main characters have somewhat magical abilities, but that's never a front-and-centre part of the story. Instead it's carried behind the plot of Rose wanted to start her own circus, and Pierrot becoming a bugler. This book is the definition of quirky, and because of that, I'm not sure whether I enjoyed it. I had previously DNF'd it, but seemingly had a 'I hate myself' moment and decided to finish it. This just has too much juxtaposition. It was too depressing, and I never fully came to care for either of the characters. There was too much sexual content throughout this novel, non of which was the smutty kind, instead being a devastating miserable kind. And if I hear the word 'cunt' one more time in a book this year, it'll be too soon. No, just no. Which is very sad as I found this signed copy at a library sale. Did you love this novel? Let me send this to you! Save me from it's miserable aura. (No, but really, someone ought to have this who loves the author.)

When a father and son move to a new town, strange things begin happening. Whispers come from outside the boy's bedroom at night. Could it be related to the imprisoned child murder known as The Whisper Man? I wanted to like this thriller, I really did. It seemed dark, creepy, and I was hopeful for a better written Stephen King type novel. However, I don't think this book knew what it wanted to be. It read like some weird mash-up of a detective centered novel and a thriller, which really didn't work with the story. I can forgive a thriller for not having a great ending so long as I can enjoy the journey to get there, but with this I sadly didn't. I was bored so many times, and found all the characters tedious or pointless. Meh. I, sadly, do not get the hype.

After everyone at at a wedding party gets food poisoning, Olive and Ethan are the only two not to get sick. Because of this they're forced to go on the bride and groom's honeymoon with only two problems: they have to pretend to be newlyweds, and they hate each other. Yup, ultimate hate-to-love plot. As someone who loved The Kiss Quotient and The Hating Game, how have I never read a Christina Lauren book before? The mystery! The Unhoneymooners is arguably the most popular book, so I figured I'd start there. This read far more chick-lit than I was expecting. There was no smut which left me feeling rather bitter. Nevertheless, this was a quick enjoyable read. Not a new favourite, but I'm still glad I've read it.

After humanity stops dying off, a group of people known as Scythe's are solely responsible for keeping the population numbers under control. They go out and kill whomever they want. When two teens are put into training to become Scythe's, they begin to see a new side of their controllers. The world building in this novel was exceptionally done. I never once questioned it. For such a fast read, it really build up this dystopian land without ever feeling info-dumpy. However, I'm unsure whether the two main characters could've been more bland. Neither of them had any personality, which made it incredibly hard for me to care about their individual outcomes.

I'm still reading this series via audiobook and am having a great time. Would 110% recommend for miserable fun. The further into the series I get, the darker and more twisty each book becomes which I'm loving. For a series targeted at kids, I'm way too invested. 

Go forth and read my other wrap-ups:

This is a quiet but poignant WWII novel about certain aspects of the war that we don't often read about. Following two different time periods, one in the past and one in present day, we learn of the life of Henry, an American-Chinese living in Seattle. As a young boy he befriends an American-Japanese girl whose family is struggling as the Nazi reign is beginning to show in their hometown. An adult Henry, however, is in the mourning process of his wife. His days are bland. That is until a local hotel owner digs out artifacts of the past from the basement. Is the object that Henry longs to once again see down there, hidden in a box? I found this novel fascinating as, like I said, this isn't necessarily the story people write about when WWII is the backdrop. Usually we get put right in there at Auschwitz, especially in the more popularized books like The Nightingale and, yes, The Tattooist of Auschwitz. This never felt overly historical, at times it even felt like a contemporary. I think reading about the war through the eyes of a child lessened the impact of the ugliness that was going on around him. If you like books set around WWII or simply want to dip your toes into the historical fiction pool but don't want to jump in, I'd wholeheartedly recommend this novel.

Candace Chen is feeling unfulfilled in her life - her job as a bible product coordinator is a far cry from the art route she wanted her career to take, her uninspired relationship seems to be ending, and she's just a little lost. Then a viral fever takes out half the world and she's left alone. This synopsis sounds interesting, right? Sadly, this entire book was a case of great idea but poor execution, at least for me. I felt so jarred throughout this book as it kept jumping between timelines while trying to tie everything together. Candace isn't meant to be likable, but god, she was borderline insufferable. 

When a woman decides to go Vegetarian it sets off a chain of events in both her and her family's life. I started listening to this as it is arguably one of the more talked about translated Japanese novels as of late. And though the plot was very odd, the characters were all insufferable, and I'm not exactly sure what the author was trying to do.. I really loved this book. There was just something so addictive to the writing style and I felt touched by the story, but for absolutely no particular reason. This book and my liking to it is a mystery to me. 

Though fiction, this is an inspired look at the lives of the Japanese picture brides who migrated to America in the early 1900's. This short book (129 pages) was a piece of art. It was written so beautifully and with such originality that I struggled to put it down. It wrote about these different women in the style of "we did this, we went through that, this was our lives". Like the brides were a collective, similar to the way of The Handmaids Tale. However, I can't help but think that this would've been better executed if it had instead been a collection of poetry. It didn't read like a novel. 

So, yeah. I only read 4 books but I'm so glad that I joined in for this readathon. If libraries were still open, I imagine it would've been much easier to get my hands on some other Asian themed books that weren't, you know, the length of Pachinko. 

Did you read anything for this readathon? Let me know. 

I partook in Nicole's month long readathon in May, and it was so much fun. I used to solely read contemporaries written about mental illnesses but fell out of love with the sub-genre after so many YA books disappointed me. The Mentalhealthathon rekindled my love for books like this, which I'm so happy about. I originally aimed to read books based on the prompts that Nicole gave us on the Bingo card, but alas, I did what I always do and strayed away from the list. Where are my fellow mood readers at?

In the style of Carrie Bradshaw: I can't help but wonder, have I inadvertently been self quarantining myself for all these years? And if that's the case, is this why I'm depressed?

This is a tragic story set around two children, Rose and Pierrot, who are abandoned at an orphanage in 1914. There, they both experience abuse - sexual and physical - and eventually leave to forge their own paths, yet they're always hoping they'll find each-other again. In their eyes, they're each-others first loves. Nothing will ever compare to the other, it's fate. This novel has an undertone of magical realism as both the main characters have somewhat magical abilities, like juggling and dancing, but that's never a front-and-centre part of the story. Instead it's carried behind the plot of Rose wanted to start her own circus, and Pierrot becoming a bugler. 

The Lonely Hearts Hotel is the definition of quirky, and because of that, I'm not sure whether I enjoyed it. I had previously DNF'd the entire thing, but seemingly had a 'I hate myself' moment and decided to finish it via audiobook as my favourite narrator Julia Whelan was the voice behind the story. This entire book had too much juxtaposition. It was too depressing, and I never fully came to care for either of the characters as they were both too.. cold. I always felt like I was an arms length away from the story, as though the author was purposefully not allowing me to be swept up into the magic.

My biggest issue with the book was how much sexual content there was throughout this novel, and no, I'm not talking about some smutty kind. It felt as though every single sexual encounter the character had was either the miserable self loathing kind, or the type that left my hands feeling dirty. If I hear the word 'cunt' one more time in my lifetime, it'll be too soon. I hated how easily swayed both Rose and Pierrot were when it came to anything sexual, it felt like both were just constantly horny and willing to compromising everything about themselves for a quick thrill. As harsh as it sounds, it seemed like most of the time the author was writing just for the sake of writing. Most of the novel felt like icky filler with the backdrop of the great depression being an excuse for the awful things the characters were both going through/doing. Even when (spoiler ahead) they finally found each other, it was still a constant string of depressing filler. This book had no hope whatsoever, at no point in the book was there hope or light or happiness. Each part brought a new reason to be unhappy, for both me and the characters. 

Sexual abuse, self loathing, drug abuse, miscarriage, prostitution, rape, drug abuse, still born, depression, still born, death. That was basically the string of events throughout this novel. It was lonely, yes, but not in any poetic type of way. Just literal torture porn. 

I've been really negative about the plot, but I do want to add that the author is a very talented writer. Her way with words was the only thing that kept me going, which is ironic but true. She writes beautifully, like lyrical poetry, and I'm madly in love with the way she can describe practically anything with beauty. The plot just really wasn't for my book palette. 

To summarise, weirdly, The Lonely Hearts Hotel felt like a poem that had been stretched out into a 350+ page novel with no rhythm or reason. It was miserably pointless. Which is all the more depressing as I found this signed copy at a library sale. Did you love this novel? Let me send this to you! Save me from it's miserable aura. (No, but really, someone ought to have this who loves the author.)

I can't in good faith recommend this book despite the beautiful style of writing. I would read more by the author, but would never ever pick up this book again. Forgive me, O'Neill. 

How are we already on May's Birchbox? It feels like this year is speeding by in a blur of days spent at home. Despite the frivolousness of a beauty box right now, it is rather nice to have something to look forward to during all the craziness. I actually remembered to choose a curated box this month, which was the 'Female Founder Collective x Birchbox', but before we go through all the products that were included, I just want to write out a huge heartfelt thank you to all the essential workers out there who are keeping our butts surviving during these impossible times, you're warriors. Again, thank you.

I've mentioned before how I do like to receive make-up products in my Birchbox as I think it's a great way to mix-up your monthly subscription, however, I don't think I'd ever wear this purpley lipstick shade, which is a shame. I wish your beauty profile on the Birchbox website allowed you to be more specific with the shades of make-up products you'd prefer. Saying that, it is really cool that in this box there was a full-sized product that already retails for more the entire cost of your box. 

Who doesn't love a good sheet mask experience? For some reason, whenever I use a sheet mask, it feels like the height of luxuriousness. Maybe I need to be more glam, alas, I'm really excited to try something from this new-to-me skincare brand.

The packaging for this would've put me off purchasing it (well, that and the hefty price tag), but I do love a good exfoliating treatment. This one surprised me with the formula being a green colour with the scent of matcha. It doesn't feel too harsh on my skin, which is a huge plus. Here's hoping for noticeable results.

I've done a few Photo Diary posts, mostly when travelling like my 48 hours In Edinburgh and Glass Beach, Fort Bragg. But given our current circumstances, we're all pretty much stranded at home. To find beauty in that, I decided to venture to the garden and take some shots that capture what I'm currently surrounded by. "Light can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to put on the light." Or something like that.